The Fence's Future
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"We must defend America's borders!" - A common cry among the proud members of the U.S. legislature seeking re/election in the U.S and those seeking the White House nod. Of all the discussion and debate the most creative and profound idea to be produced is (drum roll)...to build...(more drum roll)..a FENCE. You got it!
A fence I said. Not just any fence though, but a soaring fence equipped with infrared night vision cameras accessible by Americans voyeur style. The ground will be lined with quicksand and those large worms from the award-winning film Tremors. The tops of the fence will house heat seeking missiles and attack owls. ABC and FOX will provide network coverage and call it Most Xtreme-America’s Border Challenge.
This will serve a few purposes. It will protect our border agents from being entwined in rock-throwing scuffles and reduce their chance of unjust incarceration. With no longer needing to shoot at drug traffickers we’ll have more agents focused on the real mission - waiting on the fence.
The fence will also serve as a sign of America’s greatness. Just think how badass China looked with a wall spanning as far as the eye could see. Speaking of which, why aren’t the Chinese being brought over to build our fence? Not only do they have the labor force, but imagine the cost-savings! Congress would have plenty of cash to spend on missile defense or more pressing matters like turtle tunnels.
There are plenty of other purposes a fence on our border would serve. Such as; giving people something to try and find on Google Earth, create a federal land dispute and it may even slow down immigration (maybe). Only time will tell both if and when a fence will grace this nation’s southern border. Until then I suggest using landmines and out of work scout snipers .
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